You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
