Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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