yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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