dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
