Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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