Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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