Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
