I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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