I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
