i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
