We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize