Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
