I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
