Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
