1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
