You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
