I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
