My liver just broke up with me...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
