We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize