Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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