i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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