sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
