I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
