We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We got so high we made milksteak
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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