she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
