Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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