You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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