She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
