Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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