Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
