Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
