the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
should my penis look like a turkey
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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