So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
