does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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