we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
