i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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