So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize