FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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