Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
