If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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