i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm just crazy horny about you
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize