I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
