Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
