I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
