i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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