We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
