Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
