Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
this hospital has no fireball
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
