He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
