one two three fourrrrnication!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
