pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
In America we eat man semen.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We are two peas in an std pod
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
