While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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