i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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