I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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