Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
