you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
