My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
