I'm really into asian looking animals
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
