at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
