Who wears a wallet chain?!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
MIDGETS
????
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize