I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
