i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
