I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
