Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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