no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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