Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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