I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
